HP TV
by Princess Gin-Gin
Summary: otay...this is an...odd story...it's completly insane...i had it up b4, but i deleted it, and now it's all in one chapter...soo...enjoy! and review, please!


A/N: Ok, here's a little bit of insanity from meeeeee!!! YAY! So, that's all I have 2 say, enjoy! 

Disclaimer: What's mine is mine, what's JK's is JK's and what's someone else's is someone else's…

Voldemort: ::said w/out enthusiasm:: You've reached the end, Harry! Prepare to die!

Harry: Yeah, whatever. ::yawns:: I feel odd…what's going on? ::starts to disappear::

Voldemort: ::also said unenthusiastically:: Oh, no…I've lost…boo…

Harry: ::dissapears::

Voldemort: You know, I'm getting tired of this! Every year, I try to take over the world, every year I fail. I KNEW I should've taken the part of Professor Trelawny…::sighs::

In a TV broadcasting network far, far away:

Harry: ::blinks:: What am I doing here? I'm supposed to be destroying Voldemort and having my moment of glory for the 7th year in a row! Then, they were supposed to have a huge feast for me, and I'd leave Hogwarts and live a nice, happy life.

TV Broadcaster Personer: No, you see, you're HERE, they replaced you with a cheese sculpture replica of you, he'll defeat Voldemort and have your moment of glory, there's no need to worry.

Harry: ::blinks:: a lump of cheese is gonna destroy Voldemort?

TV Broadcaster: Apparently, they thought he was a better Harry Potter. Now, onto business, Harry, you have been called upon to be in a very special TV production, it's this new channel we've made, it's called 'This TV Station That Shows Harry Potter Stuff All Day Long'. Catchy name, isn't it? Well, it's HP TV, for short. Anyways, you'll be on this show, and do Harry Potterish stuff…ok? Ok! Good, now lets start!

Harry: ::blinks::

Harry: ::appears in a fancy Italian restaurant::

Hermione: ::leans over and kisses him:: I've been holding back all along, Harry. I don't really love Ron, it's you I love. ::starts making out with him::

Harry: ::gasps for breathe:: wow…

Ginny: ::runs over:: I can't believe you, Harry! ::slaps him:: ::shoves a plate of spagetti in his face::

Harry: ::blinks::

Hermione: You don't need her, Harry. Now we can run away together! ::looks over at the next table:: ::sees Ron making out with Lavander:: ::slaps him::

Ron: But, you see, I was only giving Lavander mouth-to-mouth, because she was…errr…choking on a meatball…

Hermione: Oh, your so heroic, Ron! ::starts to make out with him::

Lavendar: ::glares at Hermione:: ::stomps off::

Harry: ::blinks:: 

Everyone: ::disappears::

TV Broadcaster Dude: Hiya, Harry! We've decided that the people don't want soap operas anymore!

Harry: ::looks afraid:: What do they want?

TV Broadcaster: Music Videos!!!

Harry: ::is afraid:: ::is very afraid::

Hermione: ::appears in the middle of a catholic girl's school, wearing an…inappropriate plaid uniform:: ::sings:: Oh, Baby, baby, how was I supposed to know? That something wasn't right, yeah. Oh, baby, baby, I shouldn't have let you gooooooo. And I must confess, that my lonelyness is killing me now, don't you know, I still believe, that you will be here, just give me a sign. Hit me baby one more time! ::dances around::

Hermione: ::returns to her normal self:: Wow…that was very…refreshing. Maybe I should do that more often! Hmm…maybe I should consider a career as a professional singer.

Harry: ::takes hands off his ears:: is it over yet?

Broadcaster: ::grinning:: yup! Up next we have Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy preforming Bootylicious.

Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy: Crabbe, can you handle this? Goyle, can you handle this? Malfoy, can you handle this? I don't think you can handle this! Whooooo!!! My body's all bootylicious for you, babe! ::dance around:: ::finish song::

Harry: ::blinks:: ::is scared::

Broadcaster: Ok, Harry! You're up next! You, Ron, Sirius and James (A/N: yeah, yeah, I know, he's dead, but this is MY fic, and I want him in it, so there!) will be performing 'Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely'.

Harry: ::tries to run away:: 

Broadcaster: No, silly, the stage is THAT way! ::pushes him onto the stage::

Harry, Ron, James, and Sirius: ::don't really know the words:: Show me the meaning of being lonely. Is this the feeling, I need to walk with? Tell me why, I can't be there where you are! There's something missing in my heart!

Random girl: I LOVE YOU, SIRIUS!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I WONT TO MARRY YOU!!! ::runs around screaming::

Sirius: oooooooook! That was…odd…

Broadcaster: Yeah, ok, up next is Professor McGonagall performing errr…'I'm A Little Teapot'

McGonagall: ::seductively:: I'm a little teapot. Short. And stoat. Here is my handle. Here is my spout. Turn me over. Pour me out. I'm, a little, teapot. Short, and stout. 

Everyone: ::blinks::

Snape: ::cheers:: ::sniff:: that was so…touching!

Everyone: ::stares::

Snape: What? I liked it!

Everyone: Oooooooook…

Broadcaster: I'm getting bored of this…hmmm…maybe I change the show…

Everyone: ::looks afraid::

~*~PART TWO~*~

½ Hour Later…

TV Broadcaster: Ok, everyone! Looking great! Ready? Annnnnnnnnd…Action!

*A big Barney appears out of no where*

Harry (dressed as Barney): *trying to read the words the person with the cards that have his lines on them is holding up* uhh…oh!!! I see! I love you, you love me, we're a ha-

*suddenly Britany Spears appears*

Hermione (as Britany): *dances around Barney* I'm a slaaaaaaaaave, for you! I can't…uhh…describe it? I'm not trying to-

Harry/Barney: WHAT THE-? 

TV Broadcater: Cut! That wasn't in the script!

Hermione/Britany: *filing her nails and chewing bubble gum* Like, what are you talking about? I thought we were, like, doing the, like, music videos.

Harry/Barney: No, we stopped that half an hour ago!

Hermione/Britany: Like, whatever!

TV Broadcaster:  Ok, lets try that again! 

Harry/Barney: Do we have to? This costume itches!

Hermione/Britany: *blows a bubble* Yeah, like, whatever! That, like, costume is so last week! *does the L thing on her forehead* Loser!

Broadcaster: Fine! We'll find a new show…

Hermione/Britany: Do I, like, have to go into that, like, loser dressing room? It's, like, so small, and I like, like this outfit. *blows another bubble*

Broadcaster: *sighs* fine! Keep your costume. 

Herm/Brit: Like, yay!

Broadcster: Ok, people, the fans have been asking for more soap operas, and we have to give the fans what they want…sooooo…action!

*suddenly everyone appears in a house*

Hermione (still in her Britany costume): Like, Ron, I don't think this like, relationship is like, working out. I think we like, need to seem other like, people.

Ron: But…we've only been going out for 5 minutes…

Hermione: I like, know! But, it's just like, too much for like, me! I mean, there's too much like, pressure! I'm like, not ready for a like,  relationship this intimate!

Ron: *blinks* ok, Hermione. 

Hermione: You see! You even have your own like, nickname for like, me! I can't like, take the pressure!

Ron: But, Hermione, your name IS Hermione. That's not a nickname!

Hermione: THAT'S NOT LIKE, THE POINT LIKE, RON!!! THAT'S WHAT I LIKE, HATE ABOUT YOU! You're like, always changing the like, subject! 

Ron: Ok, Hermione…maybe you're right, maybe we should see other people…

Hermione: *blows a bubble* Like, ok! Aren't you gonna like, leave? 

Ron: Hermione, this is my house.

Hermione: *cries* You're gonna like, throw me and the like, kids out onto the street?

Ron: *stares in horror* We don't have KIDS!!!

Hermione: That's not like, the point, Ron! Oh, like, Ron! I'm so, like, sorry! I really don't want to like, break up! I'm just trying to express my true and deap love for you! *starts making out with Ron* *Harry comes in* *creaks into tears* Oh, like, Harry! He's a like, snake! A like, horrible person! *Cries on Harry's shoulder* he was like, making out like, with me! I tried to like, stop him, because like, the only person I truly like, love is you, Harry!

Harry: Is this true Ron?

Ron: No…

Harry: I can't believe you, Ron! I thought you were my best friend! I hate you! Get out!

Ron: THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!

Harry: Oh, well, then, go away! *gets on the couch and starts making out with Hermione*

Ron: *blinks*

Broadcaster: Ok, cut! That's a wrap for the day, now we're going to make our very own full length feature film! It's called Lord of the Things! We'll start filming right now! Ready, annnnd, Action!

Dumbledore {Dandalf}: Todo! The thing is not safe! You must run away! Take your faithful friend, Ham, with you!

Harry {Todo}: *looks at script* Todo? What is this? The Wizard of Oz?

Broadcaster: *gasps* you're a genius, Harry! I have an idea for a new movie! The Gizard of Yoz! We'll start filming as soon as Gin-Gin decides to posts part three of this fanfic!

~*~PART THREE~*~

The Gizard of Yoz, Scene 5, Take One:

Harry {Auntie Flem}: *mutters* this dress makes me look fat

Hermione {Zorothy}: Ohhhhh…the sun'll come out! Tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollor that tomorrowwww, There will be sunnn! 

Broadcaster: CUT! That's not in the script, Hermione!

Hermione: But…I thought we were doing Annie!!!

Broadcaster: NO! we're doing The Gizard of Yox, get the picture! You're Zorothy! Now, scene 5, take 2!

Hermione {Zorothy}: Somewherrrrrrrre…over the sainbowww…way uppp lowww…

Ron {Uncle Benry}: *covers ears*

Malfoy {Uncle Poe}: *runs around in circles* THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!!

Hermione {Zorothy}: Oh, shut up! I'm a beautiful singer!

Broadcaster: Cut! Ok, let's move on to another scene. Scene 15, take 1!

Random midgets {punchkins}: Oompa loompa doompity doo, I've got another puzzle-

Broadcaster: WHAT? CUT! That's not in the script.

Midgets: Sorry…our last job was as oompa loompas…

Broadcaster: Ok, scene 15, take 2!

Midgets {punchkins}: Follow the pellow brick zoad, follow the pellow brick zoad. Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the pellow brick zoad!

Hermione {Zorothy}: *skips around* *follows the yellow brick road* like, bye! *waves*

Broadcaster: WHAT?! CUT! I thought you were gonna quit it with the valley girl talk!

Hermione: Well, I felt like trying it again, do you like, have a problem with that?

Broadcaster: *grinds teeth* Ok…fine…Scene 22, take 1, action!

Ron {Carecrow}: If I only had a rain! I could laugh and be merry, it would be a thingadarry, if I only had a rain!

Hermione {Zorothy}: Auntie Flem, Auntie Flem! Where are you?

Broadcaster: HERMIONE!!! You're on the wrong page!!! OK! That's it! I can't take this! BREAK!

Everyone: YAY!

~*~Back with Voldemort in Harry Potter~*~

Cheese {Harry}: *is cheese*

Voldemort: Oh, Cheese-Harry! You are too powerful for me! *dies*

Cheese {Harry}: *Does the cheese dance*

Ron: Oh, Cheese-Harry! You killed Voldemort! You are so powerful! I'm so jealous of you!

Ginny: Oh, Cheese-Harry, I love you! Marry me, cheese-Harry! You're so much cooler than the old Harry! 

Cheese-Harry: *is cheese*

Ginny: Oh, cheese-Harry! I knew you'd say that! You are so romantic!

Cheese-Harry: *is cheese*

Ginny: You really think that? I think so too, cheese-Harry!

Narrator: And, so cheese-Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and everyone lived happily ever after, the end! 

~*~Back in the TV Broadcasting studio~*~

Broadcaster: I'm sorry, we've lost our funds, everyone wants to read the Harry Potter book 7, now that it's out, soooo...YOU'RE ALL FIRED! Goodbye, and have a nice life! 

Everyone: *blinks*

~*~THE END~*~

A/N: Ok…that was a really cheesy (literally, lol) story…but, it was fun 2 write…hehe…what I think I'll do, since it was soooo short, is I'll put it all in one chapter…otay…well…hehe…im hoping for some good reviews, even though this is a pretty dumb fic…lol…


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